Bricks

There's times when I pick up my phone to text you, to see if you maybe texted me or wrote on my wall and it hits me like a ton of bricks. Knocks the wind out of me, shoots a sharp pain thru my heart and it hurts to breathe...oh bud I'm so so so sorryy :( How are you gone? It still is so crazy that at one point you were my boyfriend (yep I said it--deal with it) and now you're not even alive. I still consider you my best guy friend and it hurts soo deeply that I can't text you a funny little thing that happened to me or call you up and tell you a ridiculous joke I know you will laugh at. Hopefully you "check facebook" or your email up there, or at least have some internet access to read my blog! I know its on the top of your to-do list ;) Beev, I need someone to make fun of me. Who in a million years would think that that is the thing I miss the most. You teasing me! hahaha Don't worry I get enough crap from my boss and people at work :) They are teasers for sure...
I listened to the voicemail you left me from November...yes I saved it. The entire time listening to it I was just like awwwwww Beev I'm sorrryyyyyy....you were so beyond pissed at me. OMG you told me you didn't think you could ever be so mad at someone, but I proved you right? yes you said right! Instead of wrong, i laughed because i think alcohol may have been playing a factor in this 4 minute hate voicemail. I'm so happy we made up the next day and everything was back to normal, because oh my goodness theres no way I could have lived with myself leaving you on bad terms. But that's how we were-- fighting one minute, friends the next. You knew me too well. I hope you're lookin down on my smiling...I found a song I know for a fact you would love See Me Smiling by Yellowcard
The sun comes up and you are all over my mind
You're in my brain before I can open my eyes
As I go on without you, my heartbeat won't slow down
I need you back like I need air to breathe this out
All I can do is keep you closer now
Cuz I know you're somewhere out there looking down
Wherever you are, I hope you can see me smilin
<3 Krista