My Letter to him

April 25, 2011

If Love could have saved you, you would be here next to me.  The amount of love you held inside of you, BV, oh you shined.  Your smile, your eyes, your warm hugs, your laughter. What I wouldn’t give to call you up, whisper CRAIG DAVID and hear that laugh. I have never had someone care so deeply, so fully, & so honestly for me. You made me feel safe. My mom was worried about me flying home from Oklahoma for your funeral but I texted her and said “Don’t worry Mom, I have a guardian angel”. Though it breaks my heart today and will for years to come that I can’t call you up and see what you’re doing, I can feel a little sense of peace knowing you are watching over me.  I’m still not sure how I will get through the coming days knowing I have lost one of my dearest and bestest friends, but through the tears and through the pain I will pray to you when I need you. Without a doubt I know you will be there to listen just as you always have. You were there for me through the death of my puppydog Carmel (I hope she’s showering you with kisses right now), my dilemmas, the beautiful clear sky star-gazing nights, my big move to Oklahoma, all the long walks home, the long summer workdays when we texted all day and counted the hours til I would pick you up to head to Lake Calhoun, and all the Friday nights when no one else wanted to go out—you were there with me thru it all J

I would like to now tell a little funny story about you (BV) and the sweetheart you are. One summer night on our way to the bars with friends BV and I became deep in conversation and completely lost our friends! I told BV to call them but he then informed me he had dropped his phone in the toilet right before we left and it was soaking in a bag of rice on his kitchen counter. Also, I should add the ENTIRE bag of rice was spilt on the kitchen floor!!  I then tried to call our friends on my phone but of course they were all already AT the bar and no one would answer.  We then realized we had no idea where we were! Go figure.  Completely lost we started to walk in circles trying to figure out how to get back to BV’s house. At this point I was crabby, cold without a jacket, and whining because my feet were blistering in my heels!  BV told me to take off my heels, and gave me his giaaanttt moccasin slippers to wear while he carried my shoes for me.  I still laugh picturing my size 7 feet in his slippers and BV walking in his white socks down the sidewalk allllll the wayyyy home. It was at this point I decided I would never meet another guy like this one.  He always made sure I had a ride home or would walk me to my doorstep/car/make sure I called him as soon as I got home.   BV always put everyone else before himself and it is a trait I strive to achieve in my own life.   If I can touch even a quarter of the lives BV did in his short life, I will be happy.

Your parents should be so proud of the man you had become. You were so smart, so compassionate, with a need and desire to care for others I have not seen in anyone else. BV you may have saved many lives donating your organs, but I want you to know you also saved mine. You taught me to never settle for less than I deserve, to always put a smile on your face even when it’s a rainy day, and that it is okay for girls to shotgun beers ;) I know I will never ever beat you in that race tho.  There’s so much I want to say but I know you know. I will miss your teasing and arguing with you like my brother.  I know you’re gonna miss Kelc and I and our giggle-fests …even tho you will never admit it! You love us! We were the three amigos and the three amigos we will stay.

I say a quote with my prayers every night and I know I’ve told you it before but I say a little something extra at the end now…it goes a little like this. “Life’s too short to wake up with regrets.  So love the ones who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t.  Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance grab it with both hands. If it changes your life let it.  Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. BV…you’ve made it worth it.” I thank you for all the memories to hold unto, they are what get me thru everyday.  I love you, I miss you & I’ll be seeing you again hun.

Looking for you in the stars,

Krista Leigh Mika